28 Comments
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Laurie MacIntosh's avatar

Excellent work, Kelly. My situation was similar to what happened to Rory Gilmore when she was told by newspaper publisher/Logan’s dad that she didn’t have “it.” Took me years to rebound.

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

So glad you kept writing Laurie! ❤️❤️❤️

Bria Knudsen's avatar

Thank you for this wonderful essay. And I am your 50th like on it! Yay! Although I can completely understand why a comment from somebody that you liked and admired would hurt more than a comment from a stranger. She certainly could’ve delivered the same feedback in a different way, like “ I really appreciated your piece and think you said some meaningful things in there. Looking forward to the next thing you write!” which acknowledges that there was something real in what you had written and that she expects you to grow as a writer. Truthful doesn’t have to be mean. And sometimes blunt is just another word for mean. I once told a friend that she should practice more because she wasn’t sounding as good as she used to. I knew this person extremely well and thought that I was doing the difficult job of being a real friend who was willing to say the true thing. I tell you, many years later, people are still astonished that I did something so mean. I regret it. It sounds like your person does too. 🩷

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you for being the 50th like and thank you for such a thoughtful and insightful comment. I appreciate it so much! ❤️❤️

Ruchika's avatar

This felt like a hug. So warm and encouraging that it broke me first and I needed a day to come back to reality. Just to say, thanks Kelly 🫶

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

This comment feels like a harm hug. Thank you so much! 🫶

Story Time Wizard's avatar

Fantastic essay. And you know what I say? Fuck anyone who doesn't agree. 😁

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

You’re the best! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Story Time Wizard's avatar

It always pains me when I hear of a creative being discouraged as a result of someone else's opinion. I do not allow myself to be measured by someone else's standards. I was Bron lucky I suppose. I have Oppositinal Defiance Disorder which I think everyone should have a touch of, just for this very reason.

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

I love this comment so much. ❤️❤️❤️

FootballJo's avatar

re: height: I totally get it. I prayed for my daughter to have long legs and be tall. She is at least 7" taller than me (victory!)

re: Trader Joe's: those pb cups and the chocolate cat crackers....

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

Joy Manning's avatar

I can relate! I was once rerailed from writing for two full years because of some profoundly unhelpful and off base feedback. Thanks for sharing your story!

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

The Mother of Fierce Dragons's avatar

And another thing; “but I also know I never should have given up on myself when I was still in the process of becoming.”

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

❤️❤️❤️❤️

The Mother of Fierce Dragons's avatar

“But did it feel that way at the time, dear Substack reader? In fact, it did fucking not.” So glad you kept (and keep) going! You rock!

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you so much!!

Lisa Cottrell's avatar

I feel for that younger version of you, and I'm so glad you're writing now! Also great that your David Foster Wallace essay found its way to the girl who had criticized you. That's such a good one!

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you so much Lisa! Your support means the world!

Margaret C Nikoleit's avatar

Great essay! Plus, of course, I share your love of TJ's dark choc PB cups.

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you so much and let’s both make sure we eat some TJ’s PB cups this weekend! We deserve it! ❤️

inside.mihaela's avatar

This was very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story!! I feel like this found me at the best time ❤️

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

I’m so glad you liked it and thank you so much for such a wonderful comment and for reading the essay. It means the world to me.❤️❤️❤️

Sasha Melete's avatar

this was wonderful

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you so much!!!

Tim Chessher's avatar

Very inspiring! thanks for the encouragement, and I'm so glad you didn't give up.

Zach & Kelly Murphy's avatar

Thank you so much!